Title: The Letter
Prompt #016 -Check
Summary: Will writes Scarlett a letter since he is to emotionally retarded to talk to her in person. P.S.- He did not in fact write this while on the crapper.
At the risk of sounding cliche and starting this letter with something like “Hello, How are you?” I think I kind of should anyway. I say that because we haven’t hung out in a long time. And before you say “Who’s fault is that, chump?” or one of your other classic yet still fresh and lovely quotable quotes, I know…It’s my fault. The truth is, I feel like we have grown apart. I met you almost 10 years ago this coming March, and you and I have never felt further apart than we have recently. Again…my fault…Remember when we used to know everything that the other person ate that day because we always ate together? Remember when we used to go to the beach and you’d put on that little red polka dot bikini and we’d chill all day. We’d make a big bon fire at night and drink beer and bullshit till the sun came up again. Those are all things that we don’t do anymore because of reasons. Now wait! wait a minute! damn girl let me finish!..I know where that arguement goes because we’ve had it a million times before. I’m not blaming you for being turned, or even saying its a bad thing…so shut up for a minute. All I am saying is that I miss us….the OLD us. Not the hanging out at fangtasia so you can try to get vampires you hate to bite me…The old us.
You remember that time when we lived together, and you bought me a whore for my birthday? No…The penis is not what I remember most about that night…It was that you kicked the shit out of that he-she when he-she tied me up and stole my wallet. Or that time when we got super high watching Willow, and thought it would be super fun to go to a little people convention and claim that we where in fact the world’s largest midgets. Never again will we feel so many tiny, furious fists all at once….at least not consecutively…
I guess my point is, that I am sorry…Because I am the one who has been making a piss poor effort at working around your vampiric “restrictions” as of late. To be honest with you, I was upset that I couldn’t call my friend to go eat tacos anymore. I felt like we couldn’t have our annual Choosing of a new favorite beer and underwear modeling event anymore. My point is…Surfing alone sucks…no matter what Duke Kahanamoku says. Taco’s don’t taste as good when you have to squeeze the lime on them by yourself, and I’ll say it just this once…I kind of miss drunk cuddles…Not so much when you where in that organic non-shaving part of your life…Seriously your legs where more hairy than mine…But I digest…What I am trying to say is …let’s put the Yohkos behind us and get the band back together…
P.S. - I didn’t write this on the crapper…ok bye.
P.P.S - I don’t know that Asian in the picture I sent you…But I heard you like Asians now so I put an Asian in your Asian so you can Asian While you Asian…that’s whats up Dawg.